We recently "incensed" John Brownlee of Table of Malcontents with our simplistic instructions for reading House of Leaves. He responded with the passion of a book lover and a description of the novel's layout, including a page scan. If you honestly need help approaching the book, see his post. We remain resolute in our position that if you can't figure out how read it without an explanation, you will have problems understanding it. Instead, might we suggest something in either a James Patterson or Sidney Sheldon?

Smooches to Ed Champion for defending us.

Let's see whose query we won't answer properly today.

Search String: book report on charlie and the chocolate factory

Do your own homework, kid.

Search String: comments about "If on a winters night a traveler"

Considering that the Book Mistress didn't make it past the first chapter of Italo Calvino's novel, which is written in the second person, before casting it aside and telling it to shut up, we have no comment.

Search String: what did brother francis eat AND "canticle for leibowitz"

Is this important to the plot of the above by Walter M. Miller, Jr.? Why would anyone need to know this? Is this a question from some kind of fact-based assignment in which a teacher naively expects to discover whether or not you did your reading? Or are you working on cookbook targeted to nomadic priests in the post-apocalyptic future?

Our wonderings aside, the best way to find out is to either actually read the book or try Google Book Search, but we'll tell you what he didn't eat:

"Yesterday. There was this lizard, Father. It had blue and yellow stripes, and such magnificent hams—thick as your thumb and plump, and I kept thinking how it would taste like chicken, roasted all brown and crisp outside, and—"

"All right," the priest interrupted. Only a hint of revulsion crossed his aged face. After all, the boy was spending a lot of time in the sun. "You took pleasure in these thoughts? You didn't try to get rid of the temptation?"

Francis reddened. "I—I tried to catch it. It got away (pp. 33-34)."

Search String: WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A PERSON LIES ALOT

It means that person is a liar. Next?

I haven't seen Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yet and keep wanting to find the time to go, but I guess The Star-Ledger (Newark, NJ) didn't like it:

The star of the movie, though, remains Johnny Depp. And he soon becomes its biggest problem.

Say it isn't so!

This part of the review was a little confusing:

Add Depp's strangeness to it, and some overdone horrors (Veruca Salt is attacked by vicious squirrels, and thrown down an incinerator shaft) and it's easy to imagine little ones crying out for "Herbie: Fully Loaded" halfway through.

Um, in Roald Dahl's version, Veruca Salt is attacked by vicious squirrels and is thrown down an incinerator shaft. That's why there's a chapter called "The Nut Room." Or maybe this reviewer is in the same situation as me and also can't find his copy of the book.

Greetings. I hope those of you who picked up Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again enjoyed the story, either for the first time or again. Like Mary, I'm looking forward to the new film, largely because it's reported to be a faithful adaptation of the book. Although the book is a rapid, apparently unsophisticated read, and although most are familiar with the story from the 1972 movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," I think reading this book is worthwhile beyond its value as a source of amusement. A lot of questions pop up as you read with a different perspective, and it's interesting to consider the story beyond its basic plot. To kick us off, here are some thoughts:

The first movie, the one most of us remember, differs dramatically from the book, in which Charlie is a muted presence throughout. Which version do you prefer?

The movie adds negative qualities to Charlie, whereas in the book, he's basically a flat character. The only real glimpse we get of Charlie involves taking the dollar and spending it greedily on himself rather than giving it to his mother to help his starving family. In the text, the other kids' behavior clearly offers lessons in morality, but what are we to learn from Charlie? Is he even the protagonist? Why didn't Dahl do more with him?

In the first version of the text, the Oompa Loompas were actually African pygmies, and if read with that in mind, there's a lot of racist subtext (the Oompa Loompas are shown as depending upon Wonka, who doesn't seem to care much for them). Dahl ultimately rewrote the Oompa Loompas because of the criticism, but considering the first version opens up a whole new set of interpretations.

Besides that, what's to be made of the Oompa Loompas' rather viscous songs, and the removal of them from the first filmed version? What role do the serve? Speaking of roles, what about Wonka? The book seems to suggest he's responsible for the town's poverty, yet he's drawn as a sympathetic character. What do we take away about business and its relationship to people?

Although I haven't been around much recently to do anything around here (I have a good excuse. Honest!), I hope everyone has read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. First of all, it's delightful. And, the new movie by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp will be out soon. I'm looking forward to seeing the remake of one of my childhood favorites.

If you can believe it, I actually read this one (several times). I'll be here when the discussion starts, so I hope to have someone to talk to. :)

Oh, and if anyone wants to volunteer for July, August, etc., please let me know.